The Changing Times

When it comes to language, this video I stumbled across does a fabulous job of showing just how times have changed. 1939= one paintball and 2010= well lots and lots of paintballs.  Sure makes one think!

Word Crimes

I thought this was pretty funny, and since I have not posted for awhile thought it would be worth sharing! :)

Words hurt?

OK..so I fully agree with the gentleman in this clip!  We the people give the words power. Words are only hurtful when you allow them to have power over you!   PS...I love that the audience BOO's Whoopi when she says "spoken like a true white guy".

So I decided that I would post at least once a month (at least for now).  As time moves forward this may change, but I figure as long as I have readers out there in the world I should make an effort!  Thanks for your continued support! :)

Parent

As my children grow, I often find myself pondering.  I question myself all of the time; am I doing a sufficient job raising my children?  Am I being a good parent?  With those questions in mind, I have to ask you as a reader what do you believe makes a good parent?  What is your definition?

I think of several things when I hear the word parent(s).  The obvious comes to mind, a caregiver or someone who gave life to another.  As I went to Google and did a search I was more than a little disturbed at some of the stuff I read.  More then a couple got under my skin, and to be completely honest most of what was written on the urban dictionary site really irritated me as well as made me sad.  When you read definitions like " the person or people who pretend to care" you have to wonder what happened to make that person feel that way?  In all reality, who of us at one point or another didn't feel that way (most likely you were a teen, at least I was).  The things I read there actually made me feel bad for our society.  Too many times parents want to be a child's best friend, I say they have enough best friends what they need are parents who are willing to tell them no from time to time, teach them the difference between right and wrong and love them regardless of the mistakes that are made.  

Well, back to me.  How do I measure up? Is there any way that I could figure out just how I was doing? Not too long ago on a car ride with my very soon to be 15 year old son, the unexpected came.  With the school year coming to a close I reflected a bit and had made mention that it was hard for me to fathom the fact that in just a few short years I would start to have kids leaving home (the mind feels young though the body says otherwise).  I said to my son that I was slightly concerned that as a mom, I might not be living up to my end of the bargain and might be failing them as a parent.  What happened next was completely unexpected and wonderful.  With the utmost disgust in his voice he said "are you kidding me?"  I really didn't know how to respond and sat driving down the road in silence as he continued "you have done amazing things with us, and if I can raise my kids half as well as you have done I will still have amazing kids!"  I continued to get a bit of a lecture as we drove home.  I tried hard to hold myself together; though I don't think I did a very good job!  With tears streaming down my face all I could muster was a timid "thank you son."

Becoming a parent is something I knew I wanted in my life, what it means to be a parent is nothing like I expected.  There are a few things I have learned along the way.  First: Show respect for each other and admit when you are wrong!  I am by no means a perfect parent and I never will be.  I make mistakes all of the time, but if I do make a big flub; I have enough respect for my kids to "man up" and admit it.  Some might say this in itself is a mistake, but at our house we have learned a mutual respect.  My kids know that I make mistakes and also understand that I have enough respect for them as individuals to admit to them when I do. Secondly; expect the unexpected.  Sometimes this is like a bat to the face, but most of the time it is subtle. Finally and most important is that being a parent means 100% unequivocal love. We are all on this journey of life together whether we like it or not and by no means is it going to be easy. Like the Beatles sang: 

Little Miss Bossy

I was asked a while back to post about the newest campaign out there; Ban Bossy and to be completely honest I was wondering if I would ever get to it.  Today however it popped back into my mind and here I am.  I jumped on over to Google and did a quick search and came upon this wonderful article in the LA Times.  

To be completely honest I think the entire thing is completely asinine and I firmly believe that banning any word regardless of how hurtful someone may think it is, is extremely dangerous!  The definition of bossy is to enjoy giving orders or to be domineering.  For those who are all on board with this campaign to use the excuse that the word bossy undermines girl's ability to be leaders is complete bull!  I do not believe that the words bossy and leader belong in the same sentence!  A true leader, leads by example and does not give orders, but asks.  If a young woman is stomping around being demanding and barking orders isn't that being bossy? I say yes!  Now flip it.  If that same young woman asks and is willing to get in and do the work alongside that is a true leader.  Can you see the difference?

I find it disturbing that with so many problems in the world today that so many people are jumping on the Ban Bossy bandwagon. Words only have the power we give them.  Wouldn't it be a much better use of time to start leadership camps for girls to teach them about what true leadership is; to teach girls the difference between a true leader and someone being bossy?

Simply putting a famous face to something doesn't give it real merit, yet so many people think because someone famous is behind this cause or that, that they too should jump on board.  I wish people would wake up and think for themselves, educate themselves and have a smarter mouth!  If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, we call it a duck; so why is bossy any different?

Freedoms

Some might wonder what I was thinking when I posted the video regarding the Bundy controversy in Nevada; and to be completely honest it was because I have been thinking a lot about our freedoms lately.  I believe that what is going on in Nevada right now screams out to the people of this nation to step up and reclaim what is ours.  Our government (both parties are to blame) keeps taking away from the people all in the name of  "keeping us safe". 

What is freedom?  Be definition freedom is the power or right to act, speak or think as one would like without hindrance or restraint.  With this in mind, why is it when someone doesn't agree with what you have to say one party or another forgets that you have the freedom, that basic right to speak your mind without hindrance or restraint?  I recently attended a Constitutional Symposium where Elder Dallin H. Oaks (a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) spoke.  He did not speak in a religious capacity but spoke from his many years and vast knowledge in the legal field.

He touched on several things, but the one that stood out to me the most was how intertwined our Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Religion really is.  With his he talked about simple disagreements, and how often times when we might not agree with someone (my example would be politics) we get labeled as a bigot or a racist.  Do you not find it sad that in a nation of supposed freedoms we are labeled a particular way because we don' see eye to eye with someone? This goes hand and hand with censorship and politically correct speech.  Elder Oaks stated that far too often we see that the marketplace is used to punish those who may say something  that is unpopular in popular culture or how people are criminalized for so called "hate speech".  How often does someone say something and then the media only plays a small clip taking a comment completely out of context.  Far too frequently in my opinion.  Along the same lines we can also see how popular football player Tim Tebow was criticized by many individuals and media outlets for speaking out about his Christian beliefs.  I actually stumbled across an article that harshly criticized him for speaking at a Christian University because the university held to a strict belief of no premarital sex.

 First off, there are several Christian schools that teach this and uphold this moral code and it is their freedom to do so.  The only reason it became controversial is because the lame stream media made it so.  Why does someone with morals not have the freedom to voice their opinion?  I guess because it isn't the "cool" thing to do, but it is their right to exercise their freedoms!  Come on America, there needs to be more Tim Tebow's in the world! He is that rare gem in a garden of weeds! Could we really ask for a better popular role model?

Personally when I think of freedom the word agency also comes to mind.  In the beginning God (or whatever higher power you choose to believe in) gave us all agency, the ability to choose good or bad for ourselves.  In today's world some may call this personal responsibility.  My belief is that I am responsible for the choices I make, no one else...ME!  If I choose to do something bad, I am not free from the consequences of that bad choice.  I have to stand up and take responsibility for the choice I made. In the society we live in we see parents constantly taking away their kids' freedom by not allowing them to reap what they sow.   A prime example happened in 2013 when teens trashed an ex-football players home and the parents instead of being mad at their kids got made at the man and actually threatened to sue him.  Excuse me?  What in the crap is this world coming too?  Many parents do this in the name of "helping" their child, but really what are they teaching them other then they can do whatever and mommy or daddy will be there to clean up the mess. They are not helping them, they are hurting them!  Freedom doesn't mean that we are free from taking responsibility for our actions!

Freedom means different things to different people, so I thought I would take the question to my friends and family on Facebook.  The responses were great!  Here are just a few I thought I would share!

From my good friend James who is currently serving our country and stationed in Afghanistan...

    "Freedom is not being free from consequences.  This is the great lie.  Every decision we make has consequences, especially the private ones.  In fact, I would argue that on an eternal scale it is the decisions we make when no other earthly soul is looking that will have the greatest ramifications on us. So Freedom certainly is not being free from consequences as such is both impossible and immoral.  I would say that Freedom as we have come to define is comprised of three essential parts, First equal opportunity. Everyone in this country has the same opportunities available to them.  Sure some get a leg up the ladder because of birth into wealth or fame, but birth alone does not disqualify anyone in this country from pursuing the desires of their heart. Second would be consistency of consequence for those who are accused of violating our laws.  It is absolutely imperative that the rights of the accused are feverishly protected.  Our Founding Fathers knew this, and that is why the majority of the Bill of Rights deals specifically with this issue.  Third is freedom to change our government.  Looking back through history, examples can be sited were the system failed the first two points I discussed.  No system of government can be perfect because it is both designed and operated by imperfect people (some more than others).  We however, must remember governments are instituted by the people for the sole purpose of protecting its citizens, and when it fails to do so, it is the peoples responsibility  to find out why it failed, and then if necessary change it so it doesn't fail the same way again.  As soon as the people become so complacent that they lose the desire to protect their own freedoms, those freedoms will no longer be theirs to protect."

"Freedom is being able to do what I feel is best for our family." ~ Katie

"Freedom is not the absences of external restrictions but rather the recognition of personal discretion." ~ Mark

I wholeheartedly agree with all what all three said and would even go as far as to point that "We the people" have become to be complacent.  When our government is allowed to spy on us and people say "who cares, I have nothing to hide" they are failing to see that the government is taking away basic freedoms. 

My hope is that as Americans we will wake up before it is too late!

At least for now....

I have every intention to keep the blog up and running (at least for now).  Its finals week so please have a little patience with me as I won't be posting this week, but do have a little something in the works after finals are all over! :)

Bundy Controversy video

I saw this video on Facebook and felt that she sums several things up very nicely so I wanted to share. The last minute (though we all know it wasn't the National Guard that was sent in) she says something important "we don't have to agree" and I believe that several of my posts try to make that point.

The Bomb

Recently, I was having a conversation with a friend and we started to talk about my blog.  As I explained the point of my bog to her, I shared with her that there was one particular word that I had been wanting to write about because you hear so many people using it for shock value.  Without even telling her, she knew exactly what I was talking about because she too knew many individuals who dropped it in for shock value.

The f-bomb!!!

How many times a day do you hear someone use it? "F" this or "F" that.  It has become one of those words in society that people use so interchangeably that the meaning of the word has gotten lost!  I have always understood it to be slang for sex, when I dug around I found more than a few humorous explanations. First, way back when, you needed the King's permission to make babies. Once you had his permission, you were given a sign to hang on your door (cause we all know how important it is for everyone to know your business) "Fornication Under Consent of the King".  Another site linked its beginning to Colonial times and the oldest profession (for those of you who do not get that...prostitution). Stating that it stood "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"  and a sign was hung on the stock where the prisoner was held.  What's my point, it boils down to this: it is just slang for sex! So next time you let it drop, replace it with the word sex and see how much sense you are making! NONE!

Yes, I am completely aware that people use it in all kinds of context.  I however, through the course of writing my blog have come to a different understanding and look at roots of words and their original meanings, not the meanings modern society has given to them.  I use to be one of those people who dropped it in there (just about every other word), but it has been well over 20 years since I have last uttered the word and surprisingly my vocabulary gets along fine without it!  So, if you are around me and drop it in there for whatsoever reason, don't be surprised if I start to laugh!  After all, it's about having the smarter mouth!

Family

Fam·i·ly

1          1.     A group consisting of parents and children living together in a household

            2. All the descendants of a common ancestor

While these are all well and good, I would like to add another;

            3. Those people who through whatever reason you were brought together and you have bonded with them on a deeper level.  Through thick and thin you will be there for each other.

      I have been married for almost 19 years and the oldest of my four children will be 17 later this year, but I can honestly say that the past 10 years have best shaped my definitions of family.

     Ten years ago, we lived in a four-plex that lovingly became known as "the compound" to those who lived within its walls.  The families that lived here became extremely close after a serious of tragic events.  Within 2 months one family lost their grandparents and the other family lost a child. 

Handen and Elaine

     Elaine was born with congenital heart defects and had to endure more than any sweet child should ever have too.  Elaine was my son's best friend.  I am a firm believer that you always tell the truth; no matter what.  So when Elaine went into the hospital in heart failure, I sat my little Handen down and told him the best I could that Elaine's heart had an "ouchie" and she had to go to the hospital to see if the doctors could fix it. Come this Saturday (April 19th) it will be 10 years since I had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life; I had to sit down and tell my son that his best friend went to Heaven.  With tears streaming down his face, he looked up at me and told me that it would be ok because "Elaine's heart was all better now!" I will forever be amazed at the tender mercies of a 2 1/2 year old boy.

   

             We started out as four individual families willing to help out the neighbors who needed help in a time of need, but we ended up as one big family. There are no words to describe what exactly took place, but we all know that regardless of where life takes us, we will always be there for each other.  As one of the members of the “compound” would so eloquently put it we are “brothers/sisters from another mother”.  I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am closer to these individuals then I am some members of my own "blood" family.

     Nothing hurts worse than knowing that you have an entire family who wants nothing to do with you.  Just a few short years ago, I learned that I had an entire tree of family that I did not know existed! For years I had a name and had been trying to find out more but came up continual brick walls. Than one day I received an email that blew all those brick walls down!  Attached to this email was a family tree that was given out at a family reunion and written on it was acknowledgement of a child and wife that for many years everyone had denied. (It isn't me).  I found a lot of information from that simple email and have even made contact with several individuals.  Someday, I hope to meet all of them.  It might never happen but I am pretty stubborn and I refuse to give up hope.

             

     These two events have truly shaped what I believe family is and what it can be.  A family is tough, loving, friendship, valuable, amazing, forever,caring, difficult, comfortable, crazy and I wouldn't trade any of them for the world!

            

  

Dumb, Jack, Kick, Fat and Smart

Thought I would touch on a very common word, that I hear uttered many times throughout my day on campus, ass!  To be completely honest when I hear the word,this shirt flashes in my mind.  (This belongs to one of my teenagers.)  If I am called a smart ass I usually quip back a snarky thank you.

I think that most people think of the 6 things when they hear the word ass; the five listed on the shirt and the one that we sit on. When you look ass up in a dictionary three things come up, the animal, the slang and stupidity.


A type of donkey or mule
Slang for buttocks  (don't worry its a cake!)

A stupid or dumb person (Since Ancient Greece the word has typified stupidity)

According to oxforddictinaries.com a  racist is someone who believes that a particular race is superior to another.  Racism is the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races. Doing a little digging I found that the first time (that is cited) racism was uttered in this country was in 1902 by Richard Henry Pratt who was railing against the evils of racial segregation.  He said “Segregating any class or race or people apart from the rest of the people kills the progress of the segregated people or makes their growth very slow.  Association of races and classes is necessary to destroy racism and classism.” Ironic isn’t it?  For those who are not familiar with Richard Henry Pratt, he is seen as the father of the boarding schools for Native peoples to assimilate them to “white life” and is famously known for saying “Kill the Indian in him, save the man.”

What I find particularly interesting is how one-sided racism in America seems to be. Unfortunately we live in a society in which the media outlets help feed the problem.  The door called racism swings both ways, yet the lame stream media (this is my preferred name for CNN, FOX, etc…) have a tendency to only see one side of the picture.  Are the people of this country so blind that they don’t see how horribly one sided it is?  Since I could not say it any better myself, I took this little excerpt from urbandictionary.com “If you're a white man, this is what you are. It doesn't even matter if your wife is black and you have an adopted child from India, or how many black friends you have, somehow you're going to end up being a racist according to how the media portrays the white man as "racist whities".  

 Is this not hypocrisy at its best? The white man is the one that is stereotyped as being racist; it is hypocritical to assume that only white men can be racists?  So digging right in to this hypocrisy; let us examine a few individuals who I believe are fine examples of this….Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.  In recent history both of these men cried foul when a black kid was killed by a Hispanic. (Regardless of the color of skin it was a tragedy.)   It was they and the lame stream media who made the issue about race!   Where are they and where was their outrage when two black teens beat a WWII Vet to death in Seattle? What seems typically of them, they stay silent because it doesn't serve the agenda they promote.  I truly believe that these two men (and many of their followers) are themselves extremely racist!  Why, because when you listen to them talk they belittle everyone who does not see their particular agenda.   If they really cared about the betterment of the inner cities why are they not crying foul regarding all the black on black violence in Chicago?  If they really cared about the people’s equality they should be greatly concerned and using their influence to get these issues out into the public.  I was surprised to see recently flashing all over the internet that Nick Cannon dressed up in “white face” to promote his new record.  I was not surprised to find that people

 were angry about this, but I was surprised that not one main lame stream media reported it.  All the reports I could find came from online sources like the Huffington Post.  Only when looking for a response from Cannon did USA Today bother to report.  I believe that this only proves my point that the organized lame stream media only reports per an agenda.

In an organizational behavior class I learned a little bit about the Implication Associate Test (IAT).  When people took the race IAT, many found that they have a biased one way or another.  I thought, hey why not take this test and see if maybe deep down I do have a bias.  (I grew up pretty isolated on an island in Alaska…so maybe!)  So I began the test.  The way it works is that on the left and right side of the screen there are words, in this case the words were European American and African American.  First pictures of people flash across the screen and you are to place them into the appropriate category (pressing E for the left side and I for the right side).  Next two words are added to either side; in this instance it was good and bad.  Good was paired with European American and bad was paired with African American.  My first inclination was “this is just biased in the first place” obviously if African American and bad are paired together you are going to put any word that is “bad” in that category.  However the next round did a flip flop and African American was now paired with good.  My guess is that for one reason or another; a lot of people struggle to put those words together.    I will have to admit that I was a little worried at first when my results were being figured because I had read via the classroom chat that many of my fellow students had taken it and much to their horror found that deep down they did have biases.   Finally, the results………the test showed that I have an automatic preference for African Americans compared to European Americans!   

 If you are interesting in checking out this little test click on this link  https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/selectatest.html .

Personally, I feel that we are all created equal and should be judged by our merit not our ancestral background!

When did being anatomically correct become offensive?

I was sitting in class last week, when our professor shared a great story.  Long story short, he said vagina (he was making an announcement about an on campus presentation of The Vagina Monologues) and about 100 or so people in the audience got offended by the word vagina.  As he spoke, my mind started to spin; why on earth would people find the word so offensive?  Then it dawned on me, that in many communities throughout the United States (and the world I am sure) we are taught from an early age that vagina is a dirty word! The question I had to pose to myself and I pose to all of you is simply WHY? 

So, now I find myself Googling like crazy, trying to find something that might give me a little bit of insight.  I have spent countless hours surfing the web only to find myself more and more irritated by what I am finding; extreme feminism, blaming of conservatives for not wanting to teach age appropriate anatomy, etc…, but no solid answer.   The extremism doesn’t bug me nearly as much as the blame game.    As a conservative and a parent I believe it is my job, not the school systems, to teach my children about their bodies and the anatomically correct terms.  According to what I have found online it is believed that it is my fault the word vagina is seen as dirty because I do not want lawmakers legislating how or when my children are taught?  Not only do I find it irritating, but I find it an insult to my intelligence!

From an early age all of my children have watched the movie Kindergarten Cop and the word vagina is used multiple times, in fact a kindergarten student is the one using it!  Is it a dirty movie? No!  The child is being anatomically correct.  Did questions arise; of course they did, and as parents we answered our children’s questions appropriately for their age. I found it particularly funny to find out that some popular movie editing companies that were in my area a few years back actually edited out the parts of the movie where the word vagina was used appropriately, but left the violence. Isn’t this sending the wrong message?  I believe it is! Because there is nothing wrong or offensive with using a word appropriately!

Back to my professor; in the after-math of what he dubbed vagina-gate, the then President of UVSC (now UVU) asked him to write an apology letter to the community.  My awesome professor, Phil Gordon has graciously allowed me access to this letter and better yet, has allowed me to share with the world his thoughts.  This is magnificent because I cannot find anywhere online (or any books) that have a better explanation of why vagina is not a dirty word!

What’s in a name?

When a rose is not a rose.

            Why does The Vagina Monologues have to have the word vagina in it?  Why did I repeatedly use the word when announcing a production of the play a couple of weeks ago?  Apparently some in the town have been offended by both.  I regret that the play and my words were taken offensively. 

            The intent of the use of that word is not to offend, or to be “dirty,” but to undirty the word, to take it back from the pejorative connotations that equate women’s sexual identity with shamefulness.  This is no trivial matter.  The shame associated with the word is related to the perpetuation of sexual violence against women.  It feeds the hatred of women by making them simultaneously objects of desire and disgust.  It inhibits discussion about sexual violence, and thus the accountability of victimizers and the healing of victims, by making it that much more difficult to talk about sex crimes.

Of course, I understand that it is a provocative word, attached to anxieties, awkwardness, and contempt.  But those attachments are not necessary, automatic, and eternal.  They are cultural.  Saying the word is meant to be an act of cultural intervention.

Repeating it, boldly, flagrantly, sometimes joyfully, sometimes painfully, is to wrestle the meaning of “woman” away from the misogynists.  It is part of the struggle against sexual violence. 

            The social science literature is clear on this matter.  Making women’s sex organs “unmentionable” is obscurantism falsely dignified by the name “modesty,” and it has a range of devastating effects, from the late diagnosis of illness through the inability to experience sexual pleasure to the host of calamitous consequences of hidden violence.  Research shows that children who can correctly identify their sex organs are less likely to be victims of sexual abuse.  In a study I conducted with a colleague at the University of Illinois in the early 1990s, we found that rape victims identified the practice of putting their experience into words and sharing it with others as their primary means of recovery from their attacks. 

            The specific features common to sexual assault: the shock and denial; the pressure to keep silent; the misattribution of responsibility; the maze of fear and shame rape victims are forced to navigate; are all addressed and worked through in the act of talking to supportive people about them.  In telling their stories, victims take control, come out of denial, name their assailants, absolve themselves, heal relationships, begin to trust, and help other victims progress from states of denial, misunderstanding, and turmoil, toward states of acceptance, understanding, and newfound strength.

            Though my words and the play sound, at times, crude, there is sometimes a high purpose to low talk.  I wish I could have articulated more clearly then what I am trying to clarify now.  Violence and silence are related.  Speaking is healing.  The body is sacred.  But do we sanctify something by obliterating the word for it?  The prohibition against speaking publicly about sex matters does not restrict sex practices or sex crimes.  It restricts only understanding of, and healing from, violent sexual experiences. 

Is it ever the intention of activities at UVSC to offend the community?  Definitely not.  Is it ever the intention to air provocative ideas and challenge commonly held ones?  Sometimes, yes.  And that is a perfectly appropriate thing for an institution of higher education to do.  

Native tongue

This comic really made me laugh; mostly because I have had several experiences where others have gotten their nose out of joint because someone was speaking their native tongue.

It's been a few years, someone I know (let's call her Minnie to protect the identity) had a complete fit because two individuals (we will call them Wilma and Betty) were speaking their native tongue.  Minnie accused Betty and Wilma of saying bad things about her, because she was uncomfortable with Betty and Wilma speaking French (no not really...but I want to protect who I am writing about). Minnie approached me on it, and I told her she was being silly and that in no way was Betty or Wilma saying anything bad about anyone, they wanted to speak French...let them speak French! 

I approached Wilma regarding Minnie's accusations (I felt she deserved a heads up), and as you might imagine Wilma laughed at the ridiculous accusation. I teased her, telling her that I knew she was really talking about me, after all who wouldn't want to talk about me. To this day, it is a running joke whenever I hear Wilma speaking French I give her crap....because we all know she is really talking about me! ;)  HA HA HA

Language is a beautiful thing, so why do so many have to get all bent out of shape?  Seriously people, if you listen closely sometimes you can pick out a few things that you might understand.  I have taken a few years of Spanish; I am a horrible speaker but I can listen and understand some. My almost 8 year old daughter speaks Portuguese, quiet beautifully I might add. (Immersion programs are awesome). I have friends who speak Fresh, Russian, Finnish.....the list goes on and on and while I might not understand a lick of what they are saying, it still sounds beautiful. 

Out with the old, in with the new?

While surfing the web looking for some new word ideas I stumbled upon this wonderful list of old insensitive words and their new sensitive counterparts aka Politically Correct terms.  It made me laugh and I thought it would be worth sharing.  This is only a partial list, for the full list please visit http://tartanmarine.blogspot.com/2010/05/new-politically-correct-terms.html

These are my favorites from a much larger list.

Illegal Immigrant –  Undocumented Worker

Border Patrol Agent - Racist

Colored Person – Person of Color

Global Warming – Climate Change

Drug Dealer - Undocumented Pharmacist 

Liberal, Socialist, Communist – Progressive

Conservative – Wingnut

Illegal Voter – Undocumented Citizen

Bribe – Unearned Bonus

Coyote – Undocumented Dog

Deficit – Investment by Future Workers

Drunk, Druggie – Societal Victim

Mobster – Public Official

Robber – Wealth Distribution Worker

Dead – Reduced Carbon Footprint

Death – Healthcare Cost Reduction

Suicide Bomber – Non-certified Explosives Expert

Polygamy –Undocumented Multicultural Marriage

Hooker – Undocumented temporary spouse

Government Takeover – Reform

Liberal Protester - Free Speech Patriot

Conservative Protester – Dangerous, Lunatic Teabagger

Convict, Prisoner – Temporary Government Guest

I would like to add Christmas to this list. Why, because I have actually heard stories of people flipping out because someone said Merry Christmas to them!  The holiday of CHRISTmas is centered on the birth of the Savior Jesus Christ.  Whether you believe in that or not, it does not matter because that is just the way it is!  If you don't like it, you can simple smile and say thanks or just reply Happy Holidays if you feel that better reflects your beliefs, but you don't have to get your knickers in a wad because someone extends a holiday greeting that coincides with their personal beliefs!

Cowboys and Indians

It has been a long time since John Wayne movies were popular, but I bet when you think of cowboys that is who you think of, and I would even go so far as to wager that like many, when you think of cowboys you cannot help thinking of Indians.  Generations of kids have grown up playing cowboys and Indians; even my own kids did.  In fact, I had one who was obsessed with playing the part!

  When my oldest two where 3 and 41/2 (they are 14 and 16 currently) they got out markers and as you might have already guessed they decorated each other; they were warriors.  So here in lies the question; in this politically correct world we live in, is it better to use the term Indian or Native American?

Within the past few years, I found out that I myself have native blood running through my veins, and to better educate myself I took a fabulous class at Utah Valley University: Intro to Native American studies (which I would highly recommend to anyone for their “G” class). In this class we learned a little more about being sensitive to native peoples, but the question still nagged at me; what is really preferred?  In class we used the terms Indian and Native interchangeably.  We learned that in the good ol’ USA the Government still calls this group of people Indians or Alaska Native, a lot use  Native Americans.  In Canada, the native people there refer to themselves as the First Nations People.  Historically speaking; the names that tribes have for themselves, regardless of what side of the boarder you dwell on simply translates to “the people” or something very similar.

So let’s take a walk down memory lane.  Where did the term Indian come from, well Christopher Columbus if you can remember he was sent by the Royals towards the region of India, so when Columbus landed in the west he called the natives he came across Indians. Thank goodness he wasn't headed for Turkey! ;)   Others, such as AIM activist Russell Means believe that this couldn't be further from the truth, that in fact the term Indian comes from a Spanish phrase “En Dios” translated means In God.  That; when Columbus landed he found gentle peoples whom he often referred to as people of God and yet there are others who feel this is also false.  What we do know is that the majority of European society at that time used the term “Indian” to refer to the peoples of the Indian subcontinent.

Back to America, it doesn’t take much digging to find a period of time when many native peoples of this continent were ashamed.  When a family member contacted me and told me the BIA (Bureau of Indian Affairs) needed information I wrote her back and told her we were not native, imagine my surprise when she wrote me back and said, “Um, yes you are!”    While digging around in my own family history I found US census records from the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s  where my ancestors were marked down as being white, while on tribal rolls of the same year you can find their information and blood decree. So why the discrepancy; the father in this case was of German descent and the mother was Chippewa and from what I have been told, the children were marked as white so that they would not be looked down upon by society.  Most of the history books do not talk about this period of time, because it his history from the view of the Anglo, but if you are fortunate enough to learn actual native history you will be both shocked and saddened by how people were treated.  Though the title might throw you off, I highly recommend The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Native American History.  This was one of the textbooks we used in our intro class and it is written by a native and is surprisingly informative (and cheap which is a huge deal when it comes to textbooks).

So, back to the topic at hand the word Indian.  I really do believe it depends on who you are talking too.  I sat in on a panel discussion on campus and one of the speakers was pretty adamant that she was NOT Native America, but that she was Native.  She found the use of American with Native highly offensive and she did not like the term Indian either.  She is Navajo first, Native second. The young lady sitting next to her, who happened to be from the same town in New Mexico had no problem being called Native American nor did she have a problem with being called an Indian.  My professor says, “I’m Hopi”.  As for myself, I am still new at this, and I am one of those people who have a very diverse background from all over the place, but if someone asks me specifically if I am native I reply "I am Chippewa" (Ojibwa).  Most of my friends who are Native think of the Indies or India when they hear the word Indian, but they do not take offense if someone uses the term directed at them.  Alas, there are those who do find the term Indian offensive, and do so for a lot of various reasons. (Please see the great quote from my friend below, it explains a lot with very few words),.

I thought one of the best ways to get some great points of view on the topic was to take it to social media.  I posted a poll for all my Facebook friends and family to respond too.  When being asked regarding your heritage, do you refer to yourself as Native American, Indian or by particular tribe? As you might have already guessed not one of them said, “Yup, I’m Indian”  I was able to get thirteen friends and or family members to respond and of that eight replied tribe, four said Native American with tribal distinction as the way to go, and one said drop the American.  I have a wonderful friend who I grew up with who is Tlingit and I asked her if I could share her reply:

“This is going to be a very diverse answer. Most people prefer to be called the name they have for themselves, this is what we have been long before colonization.  As for the terms Native, Alaskan Native, Native American, American Indian, First Nations, Indigenous; it depends on that human beings personal story with those words. In Alaska you find that people commonly prefer to refer to themselves as Alaska Native before many of the others.  That term was given to us at a different time in history than the lower 48 Native people and we have a different government to government relationship.  That and not all Alaskan Native people are Indians.  There are Inuit or Eskimo people who do not refer to themselves and Indians.  And even then some of them don’t like to be called Eskimo, but some do. There is history in those words, and many people don’t take the time to learn the history of those words or the societal impacts not only historically but in modern times as well.” ~ Vivian Mork

As for myself, I find overall that Native is much more widely used and when you use Native you will have the smarter mouth!

Slut

I have a confession, when I was a teen I used the word slut, and not just a little bit.  It was one of my favorite four letter words, not the favorite, but one of them.  I had a mouth that could make a sailor blush.  When I turned 18, I made some major changes in my life and left most of my four letter vocabulary buried in the past.  I have used the term a few times within the past 20 years, but not much.

 Sitting in class and we played a little word associating game, when someone in the class of 70 people shouted “slut”.  After class I went to the front of the room, and stopped the Professor from erasing all the words that would be associated with a promiscuous woman and studied them for a moment wondering if there was a blog post in there somewhere. (We did the exercise for men as well, and as a society we really do glorify men sleeping around and punish women for doing the same thing.) After a few moments; I had decided that I didn't think there was anything worth my time; Phil (the professor) had other ideas when he said “you need to do the word slut!”  I told him I would at least think about it.  Obviously since I am now writing, I have given it a lot of thought, and decided to do a little background research.  What I found was a little more than surprising, and as a result; I have my new post!

I stumbled across the Online Etymology Dictionary, and it was extremely helpful; the majority of the history is taken straight from that site. The history of the word was a little shocking and fascinating, especially when I read that Geoffrey Chaucer used the word sluttish to describe a dirty man as early as 1386. I should mention dirty as in actual dirt! So, in the late 14^th century the term we know now, was only used as a label for a filthy, messy, slovenly man.   Some say that it comes from the Middle English word slutte (early 15^th century) meaning dirty, unkempt or slovenly woman.  From the middle of the 15^th century, it was also used to describe a kitchen maid.  There is a word in German “schlutt” which means slovenly woman, and the Dutch have a word “slodder” meaning a careless man.  We can look through history, and many languages that all have words that are close to slut that mean, foul, dirty, etc... The word as we have come to know it in modern times; a woman of loose morals is believed to have its roots from about 1660 when it was used as more of a playful term not having anything to do with sexual promiscuity.  We can find the word actually used in the connotation we associate it with as early as 1715, in Thomas Hearne’s book Acts of the Apostles when he writes “nor was she a woman of any beautiful, but a nasty slut.”  I can genuinely say, that I would have never in a million years guessed that the word slut had such a colorful history. Then again, if there is anything I have learned by doing this blog, it is that most of the negative words we have in our modern world are deep rooted in Middle English (late 12^th-late 15^th centuries) and started out completely innocent.

In 2011, a Toronto police officer told students at York University to avoid sexual assault they should avoid “dressing like a slut.” Playing devil’s advocate for just a moment, how many times have you said something and it came out way more offensive then you had intended? I know I have, and more than just a few times.  I am not dismissing a woman’s desire to dress any particular way, but what I am saying is maybe before you go out (regardless of the place) you think about what image you are trying to portray. I think back to when I was in high school, and the way I dressed sometimes.  You know what? I think I might have been portraying myself in not so positive a light.  Either way, the major backlash started what has become known as the Slutwalk, where those who march protest the excuse that the way women dress is an excuse for assault and also to empower victims. This movement has spread across the border into the United States with walks taking place in many different states.  I honestly can think of a few different things to call a walk, but I have to tip my hat for the awareness to rape and rape survival that the walk has drawn.

I will probably forever associate the word with a person of loose morals regardless of gender.  I know it isn't the world’s viewpoint, but as for myself; I do not understand the desire some people have to sleep around with a bunch of different people.  I just don’t get it, and I guess I never will.

Rednecks be proud!

You might be a redneck if……you own a crappy truck!?  We are the proud owners of an old 65 GMC.  My husband grew up in that truck and he loves it!  The city in which we live in does not!  A few years ago we got a warning from them because apparently we were in violation of city code whatever number.  I called the city and asked what the problem was and the man on the other end of the line said “well, vehicles that do not run are not allowed to be parked in the front of your home unless they are in the driveway” at the time the warning was issued the truck was sitting on a rocky area on the east of our property.   My immediate response was “so what you are telling me is because you do not like the paint job on the truck you assume it is run down and dilapidated!?” (It might be just a pinch dilapidated.)  He then proceeded to ask if the truck ran, well duh!   We had originally moved it to allow more space for our friends to park in the driveway, and a few days later moved it back.  The city person just happened to drive past during the few days it had sat on the rocks.  He promptly apologized, but told me the truck needed to be moved (already done).  He also didn't like our new lawn ornament (the frame of an old couch we had taken out of our 70’s RV) boy these city folk are picky!!! ;)    

In all seriousness though, the definition of a redneck depends upon who you ask.  I am pretty sure if you asked Jeff Foxworthy or any of his thousands of fans (yes I think he is hilarious) they are not going to take offense.  In fact, in the video I have posted Mr. Foxworthy gives a fabulous definition: a glorious and complete absence of sophistication. Anyone knows you don’t have to be from the South to fit that description.  Obviously from the above example I totally fit, and that is OK. 

I read somewhere that those who do find redneck offensive feel that it fits into the same slang category as cracker, hillbilly and white trash.  I grew up in a trailer park and have been called white trailer trash.  I guess I am just loud and proud lack sophistication!  Which leads me to another definition I stumbled across;  a redneck is simply someone who is extremely proud of their heritage. (Heck yeah, I have some great memories of Panhandle Trailer Court!)  According to Merriam Webster, a redneck is a white person who lives in a small town or in the country especially in the southern U.S., who typically has a working-class job, and who is seen by others as being uneducated and having opinions and attitudes that are offensive.   Just cause you’re a redneck does not mean you have an attitude or that you are offensive! I know plenty of very educated people who have a lot of attitude and are extremely offensive.  

OK, all joking aside when I really started to dig, I found that the term dates back to the 1830’s in the Carolina’s when it was used to describe the laborers in the fields who had a sun burnt neck after long days of hard labor in the fields.

Why must people take offense to innocent words?  Have the smarter mouth the next time someone calls you a redneck; immediately stop and check to see if your neck is sun burnt, if not make sure they know it or you can just play a little Foxworthy! 

Random quotes that I found...

I am still working on the next BIG post.  In the mean time, here are a few quotes that I have stumbled across in the past few weeks while working that I think are fabulous!

"When I need to know the meaning of a word, I look it up in the dictionary." ~ William Safire


"People are under the impression that dictionaries legislate language. What a dictionary does is keep track of usages over time."~ Steven Pinker

“Words can be twisted into any shape. Promises can be made to lull the heart and seduce the soul. In the final analysis, words mean nothing. They are labels we give things in an effort to wrap our puny little brains around their underlying natures, when ninety-nine percent of the time the totality of the reality is an entirely different beast. The wisest man is the silent one. Examine his actions. Judge him by them.” ~ Karen Marie Moning

"Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind." ~ Rudyard Kipling

"Words can be like X-rays if used properly - - they'll go through anything." ~ Aldous Huxley, Brave New World

"I'm very sensitive to the English language.  I studied the dictionary obsessively when I was a kid and collected old dictionaries.   Words, I think, are very powerful and they convey an intention." ~Drew Barrymore