Parent

As my children grow, I often find myself pondering.  I question myself all of the time; am I doing a sufficient job raising my children?  Am I being a good parent?  With those questions in mind, I have to ask you as a reader what do you believe makes a good parent?  What is your definition?

I think of several things when I hear the word parent(s).  The obvious comes to mind, a caregiver or someone who gave life to another.  As I went to Google and did a search I was more than a little disturbed at some of the stuff I read.  More then a couple got under my skin, and to be completely honest most of what was written on the urban dictionary site really irritated me as well as made me sad.  When you read definitions like " the person or people who pretend to care" you have to wonder what happened to make that person feel that way?  In all reality, who of us at one point or another didn't feel that way (most likely you were a teen, at least I was).  The things I read there actually made me feel bad for our society.  Too many times parents want to be a child's best friend, I say they have enough best friends what they need are parents who are willing to tell them no from time to time, teach them the difference between right and wrong and love them regardless of the mistakes that are made.  

Well, back to me.  How do I measure up? Is there any way that I could figure out just how I was doing? Not too long ago on a car ride with my very soon to be 15 year old son, the unexpected came.  With the school year coming to a close I reflected a bit and had made mention that it was hard for me to fathom the fact that in just a few short years I would start to have kids leaving home (the mind feels young though the body says otherwise).  I said to my son that I was slightly concerned that as a mom, I might not be living up to my end of the bargain and might be failing them as a parent.  What happened next was completely unexpected and wonderful.  With the utmost disgust in his voice he said "are you kidding me?"  I really didn't know how to respond and sat driving down the road in silence as he continued "you have done amazing things with us, and if I can raise my kids half as well as you have done I will still have amazing kids!"  I continued to get a bit of a lecture as we drove home.  I tried hard to hold myself together; though I don't think I did a very good job!  With tears streaming down my face all I could muster was a timid "thank you son."

Becoming a parent is something I knew I wanted in my life, what it means to be a parent is nothing like I expected.  There are a few things I have learned along the way.  First: Show respect for each other and admit when you are wrong!  I am by no means a perfect parent and I never will be.  I make mistakes all of the time, but if I do make a big flub; I have enough respect for my kids to "man up" and admit it.  Some might say this in itself is a mistake, but at our house we have learned a mutual respect.  My kids know that I make mistakes and also understand that I have enough respect for them as individuals to admit to them when I do. Secondly; expect the unexpected.  Sometimes this is like a bat to the face, but most of the time it is subtle. Finally and most important is that being a parent means 100% unequivocal love. We are all on this journey of life together whether we like it or not and by no means is it going to be easy. Like the Beatles sang: