Family

Fam·i·ly

1          1.     A group consisting of parents and children living together in a household

            2. All the descendants of a common ancestor

While these are all well and good, I would like to add another;

            3. Those people who through whatever reason you were brought together and you have bonded with them on a deeper level.  Through thick and thin you will be there for each other.

      I have been married for almost 19 years and the oldest of my four children will be 17 later this year, but I can honestly say that the past 10 years have best shaped my definitions of family.

     Ten years ago, we lived in a four-plex that lovingly became known as "the compound" to those who lived within its walls.  The families that lived here became extremely close after a serious of tragic events.  Within 2 months one family lost their grandparents and the other family lost a child. 

Handen and Elaine

     Elaine was born with congenital heart defects and had to endure more than any sweet child should ever have too.  Elaine was my son's best friend.  I am a firm believer that you always tell the truth; no matter what.  So when Elaine went into the hospital in heart failure, I sat my little Handen down and told him the best I could that Elaine's heart had an "ouchie" and she had to go to the hospital to see if the doctors could fix it. Come this Saturday (April 19th) it will be 10 years since I had to do the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life; I had to sit down and tell my son that his best friend went to Heaven.  With tears streaming down his face, he looked up at me and told me that it would be ok because "Elaine's heart was all better now!" I will forever be amazed at the tender mercies of a 2 1/2 year old boy.

   

             We started out as four individual families willing to help out the neighbors who needed help in a time of need, but we ended up as one big family. There are no words to describe what exactly took place, but we all know that regardless of where life takes us, we will always be there for each other.  As one of the members of the “compound” would so eloquently put it we are “brothers/sisters from another mother”.  I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I am closer to these individuals then I am some members of my own "blood" family.

     Nothing hurts worse than knowing that you have an entire family who wants nothing to do with you.  Just a few short years ago, I learned that I had an entire tree of family that I did not know existed! For years I had a name and had been trying to find out more but came up continual brick walls. Than one day I received an email that blew all those brick walls down!  Attached to this email was a family tree that was given out at a family reunion and written on it was acknowledgement of a child and wife that for many years everyone had denied. (It isn't me).  I found a lot of information from that simple email and have even made contact with several individuals.  Someday, I hope to meet all of them.  It might never happen but I am pretty stubborn and I refuse to give up hope.

             

     These two events have truly shaped what I believe family is and what it can be.  A family is tough, loving, friendship, valuable, amazing, forever,caring, difficult, comfortable, crazy and I wouldn't trade any of them for the world!