When did being anatomically correct become offensive?

I was sitting in class last week, when our professor shared a great story.  Long story short, he said vagina (he was making an announcement about an on campus presentation of The Vagina Monologues) and about 100 or so people in the audience got offended by the word vagina.  As he spoke, my mind started to spin; why on earth would people find the word so offensive?  Then it dawned on me, that in many communities throughout the United States (and the world I am sure) we are taught from an early age that vagina is a dirty word! The question I had to pose to myself and I pose to all of you is simply WHY? 

So, now I find myself Googling like crazy, trying to find something that might give me a little bit of insight.  I have spent countless hours surfing the web only to find myself more and more irritated by what I am finding; extreme feminism, blaming of conservatives for not wanting to teach age appropriate anatomy, etc…, but no solid answer.   The extremism doesn’t bug me nearly as much as the blame game.    As a conservative and a parent I believe it is my job, not the school systems, to teach my children about their bodies and the anatomically correct terms.  According to what I have found online it is believed that it is my fault the word vagina is seen as dirty because I do not want lawmakers legislating how or when my children are taught?  Not only do I find it irritating, but I find it an insult to my intelligence!

From an early age all of my children have watched the movie Kindergarten Cop and the word vagina is used multiple times, in fact a kindergarten student is the one using it!  Is it a dirty movie? No!  The child is being anatomically correct.  Did questions arise; of course they did, and as parents we answered our children’s questions appropriately for their age. I found it particularly funny to find out that some popular movie editing companies that were in my area a few years back actually edited out the parts of the movie where the word vagina was used appropriately, but left the violence. Isn’t this sending the wrong message?  I believe it is! Because there is nothing wrong or offensive with using a word appropriately!

Back to my professor; in the after-math of what he dubbed vagina-gate, the then President of UVSC (now UVU) asked him to write an apology letter to the community.  My awesome professor, Phil Gordon has graciously allowed me access to this letter and better yet, has allowed me to share with the world his thoughts.  This is magnificent because I cannot find anywhere online (or any books) that have a better explanation of why vagina is not a dirty word!

What’s in a name?

When a rose is not a rose.

            Why does The Vagina Monologues have to have the word vagina in it?  Why did I repeatedly use the word when announcing a production of the play a couple of weeks ago?  Apparently some in the town have been offended by both.  I regret that the play and my words were taken offensively. 

            The intent of the use of that word is not to offend, or to be “dirty,” but to undirty the word, to take it back from the pejorative connotations that equate women’s sexual identity with shamefulness.  This is no trivial matter.  The shame associated with the word is related to the perpetuation of sexual violence against women.  It feeds the hatred of women by making them simultaneously objects of desire and disgust.  It inhibits discussion about sexual violence, and thus the accountability of victimizers and the healing of victims, by making it that much more difficult to talk about sex crimes.

Of course, I understand that it is a provocative word, attached to anxieties, awkwardness, and contempt.  But those attachments are not necessary, automatic, and eternal.  They are cultural.  Saying the word is meant to be an act of cultural intervention.

Repeating it, boldly, flagrantly, sometimes joyfully, sometimes painfully, is to wrestle the meaning of “woman” away from the misogynists.  It is part of the struggle against sexual violence. 

            The social science literature is clear on this matter.  Making women’s sex organs “unmentionable” is obscurantism falsely dignified by the name “modesty,” and it has a range of devastating effects, from the late diagnosis of illness through the inability to experience sexual pleasure to the host of calamitous consequences of hidden violence.  Research shows that children who can correctly identify their sex organs are less likely to be victims of sexual abuse.  In a study I conducted with a colleague at the University of Illinois in the early 1990s, we found that rape victims identified the practice of putting their experience into words and sharing it with others as their primary means of recovery from their attacks. 

            The specific features common to sexual assault: the shock and denial; the pressure to keep silent; the misattribution of responsibility; the maze of fear and shame rape victims are forced to navigate; are all addressed and worked through in the act of talking to supportive people about them.  In telling their stories, victims take control, come out of denial, name their assailants, absolve themselves, heal relationships, begin to trust, and help other victims progress from states of denial, misunderstanding, and turmoil, toward states of acceptance, understanding, and newfound strength.

            Though my words and the play sound, at times, crude, there is sometimes a high purpose to low talk.  I wish I could have articulated more clearly then what I am trying to clarify now.  Violence and silence are related.  Speaking is healing.  The body is sacred.  But do we sanctify something by obliterating the word for it?  The prohibition against speaking publicly about sex matters does not restrict sex practices or sex crimes.  It restricts only understanding of, and healing from, violent sexual experiences. 

Is it ever the intention of activities at UVSC to offend the community?  Definitely not.  Is it ever the intention to air provocative ideas and challenge commonly held ones?  Sometimes, yes.  And that is a perfectly appropriate thing for an institution of higher education to do.  

Native tongue

This comic really made me laugh; mostly because I have had several experiences where others have gotten their nose out of joint because someone was speaking their native tongue.

It's been a few years, someone I know (let's call her Minnie to protect the identity) had a complete fit because two individuals (we will call them Wilma and Betty) were speaking their native tongue.  Minnie accused Betty and Wilma of saying bad things about her, because she was uncomfortable with Betty and Wilma speaking French (no not really...but I want to protect who I am writing about). Minnie approached me on it, and I told her she was being silly and that in no way was Betty or Wilma saying anything bad about anyone, they wanted to speak French...let them speak French! 

I approached Wilma regarding Minnie's accusations (I felt she deserved a heads up), and as you might imagine Wilma laughed at the ridiculous accusation. I teased her, telling her that I knew she was really talking about me, after all who wouldn't want to talk about me. To this day, it is a running joke whenever I hear Wilma speaking French I give her crap....because we all know she is really talking about me! ;)  HA HA HA

Language is a beautiful thing, so why do so many have to get all bent out of shape?  Seriously people, if you listen closely sometimes you can pick out a few things that you might understand.  I have taken a few years of Spanish; I am a horrible speaker but I can listen and understand some. My almost 8 year old daughter speaks Portuguese, quiet beautifully I might add. (Immersion programs are awesome). I have friends who speak Fresh, Russian, Finnish.....the list goes on and on and while I might not understand a lick of what they are saying, it still sounds beautiful. 

Out with the old, in with the new?

While surfing the web looking for some new word ideas I stumbled upon this wonderful list of old insensitive words and their new sensitive counterparts aka Politically Correct terms.  It made me laugh and I thought it would be worth sharing.  This is only a partial list, for the full list please visit http://tartanmarine.blogspot.com/2010/05/new-politically-correct-terms.html

These are my favorites from a much larger list.

Illegal Immigrant –  Undocumented Worker

Border Patrol Agent - Racist

Colored Person – Person of Color

Global Warming – Climate Change

Drug Dealer - Undocumented Pharmacist 

Liberal, Socialist, Communist – Progressive

Conservative – Wingnut

Illegal Voter – Undocumented Citizen

Bribe – Unearned Bonus

Coyote – Undocumented Dog

Deficit – Investment by Future Workers

Drunk, Druggie – Societal Victim

Mobster – Public Official

Robber – Wealth Distribution Worker

Dead – Reduced Carbon Footprint

Death – Healthcare Cost Reduction

Suicide Bomber – Non-certified Explosives Expert

Polygamy –Undocumented Multicultural Marriage

Hooker – Undocumented temporary spouse

Government Takeover – Reform

Liberal Protester - Free Speech Patriot

Conservative Protester – Dangerous, Lunatic Teabagger

Convict, Prisoner – Temporary Government Guest

I would like to add Christmas to this list. Why, because I have actually heard stories of people flipping out because someone said Merry Christmas to them!  The holiday of CHRISTmas is centered on the birth of the Savior Jesus Christ.  Whether you believe in that or not, it does not matter because that is just the way it is!  If you don't like it, you can simple smile and say thanks or just reply Happy Holidays if you feel that better reflects your beliefs, but you don't have to get your knickers in a wad because someone extends a holiday greeting that coincides with their personal beliefs!

Cowboys and Indians

It has been a long time since John Wayne movies were popular, but I bet when you think of cowboys that is who you think of, and I would even go so far as to wager that like many, when you think of cowboys you cannot help thinking of Indians.  Generations of kids have grown up playing cowboys and Indians; even my own kids did.  In fact, I had one who was obsessed with playing the part!

  When my oldest two where 3 and 41/2 (they are 14 and 16 currently) they got out markers and as you might have already guessed they decorated each other; they were warriors.  So here in lies the question; in this politically correct world we live in, is it better to use the term Indian or Native American?

Within the past few years, I found out that I myself have native blood running through my veins, and to better educate myself I took a fabulous class at Utah Valley University: Intro to Native American studies (which I would highly recommend to anyone for their “G” class). In this class we learned a little more about being sensitive to native peoples, but the question still nagged at me; what is really preferred?  In class we used the terms Indian and Native interchangeably.  We learned that in the good ol’ USA the Government still calls this group of people Indians or Alaska Native, a lot use  Native Americans.  In Canada, the native people there refer to themselves as the First Nations People.  Historically speaking; the names that tribes have for themselves, regardless of what side of the boarder you dwell on simply translates to “the people” or something very similar.

So let’s take a walk down memory lane.  Where did the term Indian come from, well Christopher Columbus if you can remember he was sent by the Royals towards the region of India, so when Columbus landed in the west he called the natives he came across Indians. Thank goodness he wasn't headed for Turkey! ;)   Others, such as AIM activist Russell Means believe that this couldn't be further from the truth, that in fact the term Indian comes from a Spanish phrase “En Dios” translated means In God.  That; when Columbus landed he found gentle peoples whom he often referred to as people of God and yet there are others who feel this is also false.  What we do know is that the majority of European society at that time used the term “Indian” to refer to the peoples of the Indian subcontinent.

Back to America, it doesn’t take much digging to find a period of time when many native peoples of this continent were ashamed.  When a family member contacted me and told me the BIA (Bureau of Indian Affairs) needed information I wrote her back and told her we were not native, imagine my surprise when she wrote me back and said, “Um, yes you are!”    While digging around in my own family history I found US census records from the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s  where my ancestors were marked down as being white, while on tribal rolls of the same year you can find their information and blood decree. So why the discrepancy; the father in this case was of German descent and the mother was Chippewa and from what I have been told, the children were marked as white so that they would not be looked down upon by society.  Most of the history books do not talk about this period of time, because it his history from the view of the Anglo, but if you are fortunate enough to learn actual native history you will be both shocked and saddened by how people were treated.  Though the title might throw you off, I highly recommend The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Native American History.  This was one of the textbooks we used in our intro class and it is written by a native and is surprisingly informative (and cheap which is a huge deal when it comes to textbooks).

So, back to the topic at hand the word Indian.  I really do believe it depends on who you are talking too.  I sat in on a panel discussion on campus and one of the speakers was pretty adamant that she was NOT Native America, but that she was Native.  She found the use of American with Native highly offensive and she did not like the term Indian either.  She is Navajo first, Native second. The young lady sitting next to her, who happened to be from the same town in New Mexico had no problem being called Native American nor did she have a problem with being called an Indian.  My professor says, “I’m Hopi”.  As for myself, I am still new at this, and I am one of those people who have a very diverse background from all over the place, but if someone asks me specifically if I am native I reply "I am Chippewa" (Ojibwa).  Most of my friends who are Native think of the Indies or India when they hear the word Indian, but they do not take offense if someone uses the term directed at them.  Alas, there are those who do find the term Indian offensive, and do so for a lot of various reasons. (Please see the great quote from my friend below, it explains a lot with very few words),.

I thought one of the best ways to get some great points of view on the topic was to take it to social media.  I posted a poll for all my Facebook friends and family to respond too.  When being asked regarding your heritage, do you refer to yourself as Native American, Indian or by particular tribe? As you might have already guessed not one of them said, “Yup, I’m Indian”  I was able to get thirteen friends and or family members to respond and of that eight replied tribe, four said Native American with tribal distinction as the way to go, and one said drop the American.  I have a wonderful friend who I grew up with who is Tlingit and I asked her if I could share her reply:

“This is going to be a very diverse answer. Most people prefer to be called the name they have for themselves, this is what we have been long before colonization.  As for the terms Native, Alaskan Native, Native American, American Indian, First Nations, Indigenous; it depends on that human beings personal story with those words. In Alaska you find that people commonly prefer to refer to themselves as Alaska Native before many of the others.  That term was given to us at a different time in history than the lower 48 Native people and we have a different government to government relationship.  That and not all Alaskan Native people are Indians.  There are Inuit or Eskimo people who do not refer to themselves and Indians.  And even then some of them don’t like to be called Eskimo, but some do. There is history in those words, and many people don’t take the time to learn the history of those words or the societal impacts not only historically but in modern times as well.” ~ Vivian Mork

As for myself, I find overall that Native is much more widely used and when you use Native you will have the smarter mouth!